lessons from the Lord | snow week reflections
I have never been a really moody person, until recently. Recently there have been times when I just sit there for hours in silence thinking. This past week we literally had a snow week - meaning I only had to work two days out of the week and it was amazing! However, in the times of quiet, this allows me to just want to sit there and think, drink my coffee and just think; no conversation, no noise, just me and my thoughts. Here recently I have found myself stuck. Stuck in one of those times when you don't feel as if you are moving forward, but instead moving backwards. I feel like I have reached my limit; I've done all I can do. That the Lord has used me for all the things he can and now I'm stuck on where to go from here.
You see, I have a horrid habit of hurrying things. I am constantly filling my schedule to avoid these times when I just sit there and think; because, quite frankly, a lot of times, I don't like the result of my solitude. It's most often that during these times that the Lord reveals to me the ugly parts of myself - the parts that make me realize all the more, how much I am in need of a Savior. I like to stay so busy that when I fall into bed at night I am utterly exhausted, but at least I fall into bed feeling accomplished, right? But here lately, my life has been a lot of waiting around and seeing what will happen, there's a lot of unknown. You can see where something like this would be a problem for all those who are type A's like me. During this past snow apocalypse I had a lot of time to reflect on these things.
But, I guess that's the lesson that the Lord is trying to teach me right now. No matter how busy I make my schedule, no matter how many things I try and squeeze in, there's still going to be that uncomfortable time of waiting. More often times than not I find myself during this waiting time, feeling sorry for myself, as if somehow, the Lord has abandoned me. But it's the exact opposite - he's there. He's there in the waiting and there are times in our lives when we are to be busy, but there are other times in our lives where He wants us to be still.
Sometimes during the time of waiting, the Lord paints a clear picture in what he wants us to do next. Move or stay? Take the job or not? But, again, a lot of times we don't always get a clear sign from God. There have been countless times when I have prayed, sought the advice of friends and family, and waited for God to point me in the right direction, only to get ... nothing.
The truth is, God doesn't always move the clouds (Numbers 9) or give us flashing neon signs to show us which way to go. Instead, He asks us to be faithful and to seek after Him. This being said, we will undoubtedly go when we should stay and stay when we should go. but the promise that God gives us is that no matter where we go - is that He goes with us.
I know the Lord loves when we speak our deepest desires and dreams to Him. The ones He's place within us, the ones He created us for...all so that He may be glorified when they come to fruition. And the amazing thing is that His plans far outweigh our dreams... His plans are far more beautiful than anything I could ever think of. Seasons of waiting bring renewal and strength, rest and reflection, endurance and patience... All so that you can soar without weariness right into the next adventure God hand picked just for you.